i was so scared of getting my feet wet, i caused a flood in another part of the world

words have betrayed me today
it sounds so small, so pithy
when you say it out loud
no word i have said today
or in the past
has captured how
the smell of the air changes
how all your body weight centers in a single aching point in your stomach
how it isn't even ache but a deep seated rot
how cold your finger tips get
and how your ears burn
how sound travels slow to your ear
travels slow from your mouth
how your throat gets blocked as if with cement
and to swallow even your own saliva makes you sick to the stomach
how the shivers come and go
how it is hot when it is cold and freezing when it is hot
how to explain this?
look at me, describing the damn weather
but really
it always looks like rain now
but you don't know what that means, do you
you don't know how i hate the rains
the last monsoon i spent alone
as i will this one
o wait
that's the best way to describe it
perhaps
it should tell you enough when i say...

we didn't even get to watch the rain together.

if i wish i was a tree, what will happen to the tree?

there's a book missing
from my shelf
the perfect book
i know it is
the one i should be reading
now
i can't find it
i don't know its name
i'll wait then
for it to find me
for now i'll watch
as letters race across this screen
apparently from me
seemingly for you
who knows what's really going on
behind this mess
whether order or chaos
truth or green apples
could be any damn thing
in this universe
how many guesses would it take
to get it right
to understand
to remember
that some big things
replace little things
that some little things
make up for big things
a pair of socks you laughed at
a switch you flicked on
a TV show you ignored
a newspaper you crumpled
a plate you washed
a morsel you swallowed
a joint you pulled at
a cockroach you chased
a loud laugh
a kiss
these are all things you did
before you left

love song of a mad girl

it comes rushing up
like hot screaming boiling tea
no, something stronger
like vodka... hot, screaming, boiling
and it stays at that deafening pitch
for days and days on end
it threatens to but does not burst
it hovers just above my skin
burning, burning
how it burns
and it stays there for what seems like ever
and i cannot move, cannot talk, cannot think
of anything
but the burning
burning

then, pop
and it is gone
all at once
suddenly cold
and raging cold sweats
and suddenly cold is like heat
but worse much much worse
it plunges your body
into a profound loneliness
away alone afar
lost
drifting on a sea of ice
rocking and rolling from the weight of
your regrets

and on and on
it stays this way
my life is this way
i tried to explain it to you
see?
do you see now how it is?
i am a mad girl
not silly
mad
all consumingly maddened by
myself
and now
by
you

take it as a compliment
if you can
for it is
it is
in some mad way
that i will try to explain
like this

when it burns
i see you burn
when it is cold
i see you cold
like repels like
sadly
but we are
you and i
like
and that will
bond us
for eternity

and mad girls like me
we can survive
on these bonds
on these intangibles
that others forget

mad girls like me
never
forget
because this is our
incomprehensible
version
of true love.

rain rain go away

angry
sad
teary
loud
scream
shout
hurt
affect
bruise
destroy
pain
pain
pain
common refrain

no one nobody nothing

can fix this.

hey, how're you feeling?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

pink flower

The flower said, "I wish I was a tree,"
The tree said, "I wish I could be
A different kind of tree",
The cat wished that it was a bee,
The turtle wished that it could fly
Really high into the sky,
Over rooftops and then dive
Deep into the sea.

And in the sea there is a fish,
A fish that has a secret wish,
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it.
And in the sea there is a fish,
A fish that has a secret wish,
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it.

And the flower
Would be its offering
Of love to the desert.
And the desert,
So dry and lonely,
That the creatures all
Appreciate the effort.

Et le jackalope a dit
Je voudrais être un yeti
Pour voler dans la nuit
Et m'en aller loin d'ici
Mais le yeti a dit
Je voudrais être un monstre marin
Pour pouvoir rentrer dans la mer
De tous les requins.

And the rattlesnake said,
"I wish I had hands so
I could hug you like a man."
And then the cactus said,
"Don't you understand,
My skin is covered with sharp spikes
That'll stab you like a thousand knives.
A hug would be nice,
But hug my flower with your eyes."

The flower said, "I wish I was a tree,"
The tree said, "I wish I could be
A different kind of tree",
The cat wished that it was a bee,
The turtle wished that it could fly
Really high into the sky,
Over rooftops and then dive
Deep into the sea.

And in the sea there is a fish,
A fish that has a secret wish,
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it.
And in the sea there is a fish,
A fish that has a secret wish,
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it.

And the flower
Would be its offering
Of love to the desert.
And the desert,
So dry and lonely,
That the creatures all
Appreciate the effort.

-- Treehugger, Antsy Pants