Saturday, December 8, 2007

shhh

want this loud enough
so that the universe listens
and tosses us like egg yolks
headfirst
into our dreams

(don't tell anyone
but it's already happened)

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

easy peezy lemon squeezy

how would you describe yourself to a stranger if they really needed to know who you are in a quick post-it moment? what can you jam in there to capture the essence of who you are -- this specialuniqueosodifferentfromtheotherlemmings lemming?

so here's who i am (apparently)

25, girl, drinker, smoker, bandra worker, chappal wearer, skirt twirler, silver lover, book reader, words writer, less sleeper, too-much thinker, idiot confessor, idea monger, wish bearer, easy forgetter, compulsive hair cutter

who am i describing? me or the woman that little girl on the horsie who rides past office at exactly 11.30 am everyday is going to be? or every other girl in the city whose ever read milan kundera? or who hasn't but will one day when she stumbles upon the book in a bookstore when she thinks she has extra money to splurge on a book she might hate anyway but it won't matter? or the ones who wear oshos and carry sling bags and walk around with quotes in their heads which they forget to pull out at the right moment which would make them seem all intellectual and smart but really they're only all those things in retrospect?

someday i'll be unique and different just like everyone else. till someday, i'll settle for this easy peezy niche.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

in rainbows there is just thin air, and yet we chase them

i get it
i know
i really really do
but how to tell you?

across these miles
you and i
have parallel lives
in this one respect

i've
felt this
been her
lived there
needed it
too

just wanted you to know.

love.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

try

don't stop asking why
don't stop being amazed by the reply
don't ever give up on a question
and let destiny overwhelm you
think of color as a miracle
and every new song a new world

even though it comes
with constant pain
and insanity by midnight
i wish to live this way
i wish to die this way

Monday, October 29, 2007

the loveliest thing

you, the beholder,
have made this true
although it is
most certainly
not.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

this morning

deja vu
happened
twice

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

red or requiem for a wireframe

last night
there were rectangles
in everything i saw
and my eyes turned
to blocks of red
and a song entered my ears
a morning song
a dappled-sunlight-on-the-sheets song.
it said
you are fragile
and yet...

i understood it
i think
but why red?

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

e for echo

echos
are nice
they always come back

green splotches and then some


yes
there will be tears
in the fabric
tomorrow
but today
the sheets
are wings

(art by ab)

tag cloud

Friday, October 12, 2007

on second thought



in broken strings
we rested
at last
the only kind of world we understand

show me
the inside of your veins
where thin blood pools
like luminous fields
with daisies

(re-arted by nash)

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

slash


in broken strings
we rested
at last
the only kind of world we understand

(art by nash)

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

for zorro after lunch

head sleepy
eyes droopy
ears floppy
i love my puppy

simile

this day
slid away
like a dead child
on a slide

Saturday, September 22, 2007

fever dream

in my dream
fear became a tangible thing
like a heavy boot
wet brown mud
black wax
or heavy white blankness
and my mouth filled
with its thickness
hot wax
blue powder

and when i woke
it dropped out of my dream
crawled into bed
lay down heavily beside me
tangled legs
hairy arms
and swallowed everything

Sunday, September 16, 2007

scratch

i am
much obliged
to sharpened
pencils

Thursday, September 13, 2007

accidental mosaics

i wish i could paint snail shells
with purple swirlies and crimson splotches
and send them out into the big bad world of garden paths and flower beds
with their funky new walls
which a careless someone would crush
with a shoe or a slipper or a wheel
and leave an accidental mosaic on the ground

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

they

tired i am.

lots of inversions these days too. bad sign. when the language starts to walk away without looking back.

you're supposed to be a certain way. they tell you the opposite. but it's just another mould is all. they expect it. secretly. without knowing it themselves. so can you hold it against them then? what of those who should know it but don't? how are you supposed to feel about them?

so here are all the pieces, in random order. figure it out, they tell you. do the labour without the sweat. never let a bead show.

embed this in the very grain of your person -- loneliness is pure. it is the only purity you will ever know. everything else is far too fucked up for there to be a sliver of a chance.

it'd be pointless to try to change it completely. the toes with cracked nails will still show.

go with the flow. or so they say.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Thursday, August 9, 2007

i don't shine and you don't shine

insomnia tonight
after many months

i lay awake
looking for something to do
with my hands
and my head
but
the thing is...

words can fill space
so neatly
efficiently
disguisingly
so you almost forget
there is space
but there is there is

Saturday, August 4, 2007

nothingatall

my head is sandwiched between its shadow on the wall behind me and its reflection in the mirror before me.

i've had a headache for 3 days.

today there is so much rain, it is thom yorke's city (where whenever people want to die, they lift their heads and open their mouths and drown). today it is late afternoon but it could pass for twilight. today i am clammycold.

warmth feels so sweet.

this could be a song. or a poem. or a nothingatall.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

sniff

i god a code.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

even though i'm not, these days i feel like i'm

in a movie
resucing something terribly important
in need of a root canal
abandoned
wasting time
overfed
long-haired
still standing

Friday, July 20, 2007

bumbled jumbled

fumbled
stumbled
grumbled

i did.

now what?

cut to scene 2. screenplay?

Thursday, July 19, 2007

rhymee

tanushris: no.
word of the day
"o."
dedicated to nash, no, and greenpeace


nash paul: Springfield, Or Bobby Got A Shadfly Caught In His Hair - Sufjan Stevens
nash: greenpeace?
the turtles issue thats why?
and no as in 'o. no.'


tanushris: no as in rhyming with o
greenpeace because of green weed
which brings peace :)


nash: o.
thats lame.
i think it should wholly be dedicated to me.


tanushris: (deepak) i know, it's a shame


nash paul: The Mistress Witch From McClure (Or, The Mind That Knows Itself) - Sufjan Stevens
nash: (nash) just like another crying game


tanushris: or a child who forgot his name


nash: (nash) and for this who do we blame


tanushris: god... or the sake of his fame


nash: his? who said its not a dame?


tanushris: i think they're both the same


nash: and then sahil came into the frame

Monday, July 16, 2007

can't stand.com

i jumped in the river and what did I see?
black-eyed angels swimming with me
a moon full of stars and astral cars
all the figures i used to see
all my lovers were there with me
all my past and futures
and we all went to heaven in a little row boat

there was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt
there was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt
there was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt
there was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt

- pyramid song, radiohead

men!

"ingrid was very patient, willing to put up with odd behaviour in the hope that someday i'd marry her martyred ass. and when somebody is that patient, you have to feel grateful. and then you want to hurt them."

- the time traveler's wife, audrey niffenegger

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

new language

i have a new language now.

html
htmlizer
(noun, singular)
jpeg
gif
(i know the difference)
flash
asp
xml
.net
(that's pronounced dotnet)
ajax
(that's fun to say)
adapt
resize
animate
optimize
wireframe
sitemap
workflow
nav
(never navigation. always just nav.)
crop
redesign
redo
rework
rerun

and after all the tuggingpullingpushing myself to fit into this niche, these eleven girlies walk in today and ruin everything. bloody space monkeys. kids these days i tell you. no loyalty. no bookmarks. insanely short attention span. no plans. i worry for them, i do.

and i have no idea what i do anymore. or why.

and last night i saw a ghost. no, really.

and, just by the way, where have all the words gone?

Saturday, July 7, 2007

pack-up

today i learnt, to some people, pus tastes like peanut butter. people are so marvellous in the small ways.

look one way or another, we all seem like tiny bits of foolish mixed with not-so-bad. and that seems to be the best anybody gets around these parts. there's no one to blame for it. which makes the whole mess in our heads that much messier.

we're all covers, dying to be judged, with no book inside to read. just some opinions about the taste of pus. and a mother of a pain in our gums.

that should do for now.

ting tong.

Thursday, July 5, 2007

a concubine is a pink pineapple

find pink pineapples. and the day you do, eat them. and write about them. and take pictures of them. and paint them. and stand aside and watch them objectively and take sides in all the arguments. take a stand. stand up. be aware. be lonely. be you. be everyone.

know everything. see everything. notice yourself. amaze yourself. disappoint yourself. disappoint everyone.

because people with cavities aren't scared of dentists.

word of the day

the
thhe
thhee
theyye
thaayye

dedicated to lotus sketcher, village dweller, chappal wearer.