Life Story - Tennessee Williams
After you've been to bed together for the first time,
without the advantage or disadvantage of any prior acquaintance,
the other party very often says to you,
Tell me about yourself, I want to know all about you,
what's your story? And you think maybe they really and truly do
sincerely want to know your life story, and so you light up
a cigarette and begin to tell it to them, the two of you
lying together in completely relaxed positions
like a pair of rag dolls a bored child dropped on a bed.
You tell them your story, or as much of your story
as time or a fair degree of prudence allows, and they say,
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
each time a little more faintly, until the oh
is just an audible breath, and then of course
there's some interruption. Slow room service comes up
with a bowl of melting ice cubes, or one of you rises to pee
and gaze at himself with the mild astonishment in the bathroom mirror.
And then, the first thing you know, before you've had time
to pick up where you left off with your enthralling life story,
they're telling you their life story, exactly as they'd intended to all along,
and you're saying, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
each time a little more faintly, the vowel at last becoming
no more than an audible sigh,
as the elevator, halfway down the corridor and a turn to the left,
draws one last, long, deep breath of exhaustion
and stops breathing forever. Then?
Well, one of you falls asleep
and the other one does likewise with a lighted cigarette in his mouth,
and that's how people burn to death in hotel rooms.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
haha
"There are some people who would
never have fallen in love if they had not
heard there was such a thing."
– Louis La Rochefoucauld
never have fallen in love if they had not
heard there was such a thing."
– Louis La Rochefoucauld
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
time yet for a hundred indecisions...
christmas is the smell of auto rickshaws
and the new year comes and goes and comes again
but nothing feels new
my dogs still wag their tails when they see me
as if discovering for the first time how much they love me
and the seasons turn in much the same way
has anything changed?
every day we do the same things with our bodies
our tongues move in the fixed ways
constant numb heart beats
the kettle boils
trees stand where they stand
saturn still has rings
yet something changes
we feel it in our blind human way
in expanding waistlines
fading colors
putrid smells
biology moves clockwise
yet we don't really feel time
like we do not feel a rock
in a river
somewhere in the world
that never moves
only silently fades away
never noticed until
it is gone
and the new year comes and goes and comes again
but nothing feels new
my dogs still wag their tails when they see me
as if discovering for the first time how much they love me
and the seasons turn in much the same way
has anything changed?
every day we do the same things with our bodies
our tongues move in the fixed ways
constant numb heart beats
the kettle boils
trees stand where they stand
saturn still has rings
yet something changes
we feel it in our blind human way
in expanding waistlines
fading colors
putrid smells
biology moves clockwise
yet we don't really feel time
like we do not feel a rock
in a river
somewhere in the world
that never moves
only silently fades away
never noticed until
it is gone
gift - leonard cohen
You tell me that silence
is nearer to peace than poems
but if for my gift
I brought you silence
(for I know silence)
you would say
"This is not silence
this is another poem"
and you would hand it back to me.
is nearer to peace than poems
but if for my gift
I brought you silence
(for I know silence)
you would say
"This is not silence
this is another poem"
and you would hand it back to me.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
"the best of us is drowning in the worst" -- salman rushdie
i wish people would be pro-india and not anti-pakistan.
it's not the same thing.
it's not the same thing.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
colaba
it’s where
the sky turns to that exact shade of indigo he wore when i decided to love him forever
i wrote about when i decided to forget him
our djembe instructor from goa walks past and doesn’t recognize me without him
now alone, i smile at the theatre of first dates playing out on the corner table
every foreigner has landed in india two hours ago
their accents merge into an orchestra of language
the breeze is a potpourri of hashish and arab perfumes
poetry was written by candlelight and sigur ros during a rare electricity cut
the bead sellers recognize me
and the waiters serve me coffee with ‘smile’ etched in chocolate sauce
where
i decided to never be let down again
where
i was let down one last time before i stopped crying
(where i refuse to read shantaram)
the sky turns to that exact shade of indigo he wore when i decided to love him forever
i wrote about when i decided to forget him
our djembe instructor from goa walks past and doesn’t recognize me without him
now alone, i smile at the theatre of first dates playing out on the corner table
every foreigner has landed in india two hours ago
their accents merge into an orchestra of language
the breeze is a potpourri of hashish and arab perfumes
poetry was written by candlelight and sigur ros during a rare electricity cut
the bead sellers recognize me
and the waiters serve me coffee with ‘smile’ etched in chocolate sauce
where
i decided to never be let down again
where
i was let down one last time before i stopped crying
(where i refuse to read shantaram)
Friday, December 12, 2008
fuck - kim addonizio
There are people who will tell you
that using the word fuck in a poem
indicates a serious lapse
of taste, or imagination,
or both. It's vulgar,
indecorous, an obscenity
that crashes down like an anvil
falling through a skylight
to land on a restaurant table,
on the white linen, the cut-glass vase of lilacs.
But if you were sitting
over coffee when the metal
hit your saucer like a missile,
wouldn't that be the first thing
you'd say? Wouldn't you leap back
shouting, or at least thinking it,
over and over, bell-note riotously clanging
in the church of your brain
while the solicitous waiter
led you away, wouldn't you prop
your shaking elbows on the bar
and order your first drink in months,
telling yourself you were lucky
to be alive? And if you wouldn't
say anything but Mercy or Oh my
or Land sakes, well then
I don't want to know you anyway
and I don't give a fuck what you think
of my poem. The world is divided
into those whose opinions matter
and those who will never have
a clue, and if you knew
which one you were I could talk
to you, and tell you that sometimes
there's only one word that means
what you need it to mean, the way
there's only one person
when you first fall in love,
or one infant's cry that calls forth
the burning milk, one name
that you pray to when prayer
is what's left to you. I'm saying
in the beginning was the word
and it was good, it meant one human
entering another and it's still
what I love, the word made
flesh. Fuck me, I say to the one
whose lovely body I want close,
and as we fuck I know it's holy,
a psalm, a hymn, a hammer
ringing down on an anvil,
forging a whole new world.
that using the word fuck in a poem
indicates a serious lapse
of taste, or imagination,
or both. It's vulgar,
indecorous, an obscenity
that crashes down like an anvil
falling through a skylight
to land on a restaurant table,
on the white linen, the cut-glass vase of lilacs.
But if you were sitting
over coffee when the metal
hit your saucer like a missile,
wouldn't that be the first thing
you'd say? Wouldn't you leap back
shouting, or at least thinking it,
over and over, bell-note riotously clanging
in the church of your brain
while the solicitous waiter
led you away, wouldn't you prop
your shaking elbows on the bar
and order your first drink in months,
telling yourself you were lucky
to be alive? And if you wouldn't
say anything but Mercy or Oh my
or Land sakes, well then
I don't want to know you anyway
and I don't give a fuck what you think
of my poem. The world is divided
into those whose opinions matter
and those who will never have
a clue, and if you knew
which one you were I could talk
to you, and tell you that sometimes
there's only one word that means
what you need it to mean, the way
there's only one person
when you first fall in love,
or one infant's cry that calls forth
the burning milk, one name
that you pray to when prayer
is what's left to you. I'm saying
in the beginning was the word
and it was good, it meant one human
entering another and it's still
what I love, the word made
flesh. Fuck me, I say to the one
whose lovely body I want close,
and as we fuck I know it's holy,
a psalm, a hymn, a hammer
ringing down on an anvil,
forging a whole new world.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
love wasn't worth giving up...
...losing pen caps and letting pens dry out
...smoking before brushing my teeth in the morning
...eating messily
...wearing frumpy clothes to bed
...not using mouth wash after every meal
...forgetting to brush my teeth at night
...forgetting to have a bath before bed
...not shaving my legs when i wear pants
...wearing bras twice before laundering
yes i wanted to be someone else. but for now it's good to be myself again.
...smoking before brushing my teeth in the morning
...eating messily
...wearing frumpy clothes to bed
...not using mouth wash after every meal
...forgetting to brush my teeth at night
...forgetting to have a bath before bed
...not shaving my legs when i wear pants
...wearing bras twice before laundering
yes i wanted to be someone else. but for now it's good to be myself again.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
the sad part
if someone told me, all you can do right now is light a candle, i'd light a candle.
if someone told me, you can start a movement that will change the world, i'd think about it.
if someone told me, you can start a movement that will change the world, i'd think about it.
Monday, November 17, 2008
why you must never write bad poetry
every time this song plays
something made of glass
shatters
every time this girl sings
someone with slow hope
weeps
every time the church bells ring
someone's secret dreams
break
every time this poem is written
somewhere another poem
gets unwritten
something made of glass
shatters
every time this girl sings
someone with slow hope
weeps
every time the church bells ring
someone's secret dreams
break
every time this poem is written
somewhere another poem
gets unwritten
Thursday, November 13, 2008
for parag who asked for a poem on death
sixteen years have passed
and the girl has not changed
she still dreams of death
many deaths
many colored deaths
every smell
every corner of the death pit
where bodies wait eternally for the birds
every need of death
every touching tale of death
blood, axes, murders, suicides
she eats death
like newspaper stories over coffee
like bitches and their puppies
she eats death
she feels death
she needs death
she leads death
she sees death
she means death
she dreams of death
she dreams of death
she dreams up deaths
that never happen
she conjures death
she pulls it from a hat
she vomits it out
she follows it home
she kicks it in the shins
she lets it get on top
she writes for it
she cries for it
she slams the door in its face
she takes it by the arm
she nurses it
she feeds it honey
she smiles at death
caramel death
feline death
childish death
maddened death
crimson green blue death
she eats
she gorges
she’s full
she wants more
and the girl has not changed
she still dreams of death
many deaths
many colored deaths
every smell
every corner of the death pit
where bodies wait eternally for the birds
every need of death
every touching tale of death
blood, axes, murders, suicides
she eats death
like newspaper stories over coffee
like bitches and their puppies
she eats death
she feels death
she needs death
she leads death
she sees death
she means death
she dreams of death
she dreams of death
she dreams up deaths
that never happen
she conjures death
she pulls it from a hat
she vomits it out
she follows it home
she kicks it in the shins
she lets it get on top
she writes for it
she cries for it
she slams the door in its face
she takes it by the arm
she nurses it
she feeds it honey
she smiles at death
caramel death
feline death
childish death
maddened death
crimson green blue death
she eats
she gorges
she’s full
she wants more
when your forehead slams the keyboard in sheer frustration
Ghgf.ok,seiofnxz
Y7u6 yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyysw q
Y7u6 yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyysw q
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
iss khwab ko sach karke hi jaana re...
it seems you have to discover raghu dixit at the right time, with the right song, in the right order, in the right place.
ambar - raghu dixit
ambar - raghu dixit
to my unborn nephew: some questions
how do i know you were to be a nephew?
did you feel it when you were uncreated?
did your mother wake that morning and just know?
did your father wonder if you'd have had his hair?
do your grandparents still want to buy you crayons?
do the children in the playgrounds feel the missing sound of your feet?
will the school books you'd own lie unbought in their shelves?
will no one else ever have your voice?
had the air made space for the shape of your body?
were you here or are you gone?
oh if nothing else,
answer me this:
am i allowed to
love you
like we love the living?
did you feel it when you were uncreated?
did your mother wake that morning and just know?
did your father wonder if you'd have had his hair?
do your grandparents still want to buy you crayons?
do the children in the playgrounds feel the missing sound of your feet?
will the school books you'd own lie unbought in their shelves?
will no one else ever have your voice?
had the air made space for the shape of your body?
were you here or are you gone?
oh if nothing else,
answer me this:
am i allowed to
love you
like we love the living?
Monday, November 10, 2008
are you missing an oar?
the fish seller's skin always smells of fish
the fish seller uses washing soap
but his hands most of all smell of fish
the fish seller's wife's breasts
often smell of fish
his children's notebooks
never smell of fish
but their melancholic lunches
wrapped in newspaper
always always smell of fish
the fish seller is a quiet man
who learns his lessons from the sea bed
like how to carry the entire weight of the sea
and nurture life (fish smelling of course)
and yet flash silver
in the sun
and laugh out loud
when the tide comes in
the fish seller uses washing soap
but his hands most of all smell of fish
the fish seller's wife's breasts
often smell of fish
his children's notebooks
never smell of fish
but their melancholic lunches
wrapped in newspaper
always always smell of fish
the fish seller is a quiet man
who learns his lessons from the sea bed
like how to carry the entire weight of the sea
and nurture life (fish smelling of course)
and yet flash silver
in the sun
and laugh out loud
when the tide comes in
Saturday, November 8, 2008
parenthesis
I never said I’d stop dreaming if you went away
(wait, I did)
Just that my dreams changed in ways I’d never imagined
Every dream I saw with you, now I don’t dare to see
(yes I do)
(but only coming true with you)
The way back for you is far too lost
I drew the map so you’ll probably never find me
The twists and turns I put on paper, have somehow all come real
The earth is littered with points marked X but none of them are true
(some of them are true)
I don’t love you like I did that night
(yes, yes, of course I do)
and I’m ok with settling for less now
(no, no I don’t want to)
I’m rejoicing in your glory, the one you’ve always deserved
(this one is true)
And I finally found the dance in me
But not quite the one you wanted me to
So is this the way my loves go
Loving me but unable to stay?
Needing me but finding ways to stop?
Out-running my screams, “you abandoned me bastard!”?
(I know it was me who abandoned me)
I abandoned the rules that keep two people together
(yes somehow love comes with rules)
Abandoned the memories and let anger take over
Those awful moments when you think you’re all given up
(I never gave up)
I stopped believing in love
then I believed again
I hated you for stopping too
For not being like me
And remembering every memory
(just when it’s too late)
They tell me I play games
I always prided myself on not playing games
(and losing at the ones I played)
i never want to play again
but when your mouth moves with a life it’s own
when your heart’s weaker than your tongue
it’s fair to say, I’m certain
that you don’t deserve love
I don’t deserve you
(but I want you back anyway)
I’m a selfish fucking bitch
(but I love you love you love you)
I only know how not to be loved
(please find a way to love me)
I only look for solutions in others
No one should indulge me
(please indulge me)
I keep losing the right
I keep trying to fight
I never get it right
But I’m dreaming tonight
That you get me at last
(there isn’t much to get)
That I see at last
Your heart’s not to let
(I’ll guess I’ll always rent, never borrow, never even own)
I’m looking for rights
That aren’t mine to have
(can I be right for you?)
And I push away sorrow
When it’s staring me in the fucking face
I’d rather smash my face
(I’d rather smash my face)
I’ve lost the plot, I know
I took a moment and ran with it
I went to extremes and hoped you’d be my middle
(no one can be anyone’s middle)
Everyone runs when you push them too far
The road paves over in the opposite direction
First I ask you to swim with my tide
Then I ask you to swim against your tide
(make me your tide)
I should have said everything I thought
What bullshit emerged when the truth did not
The truth it sits quietly in parenthesis
Everyone ignores parenthesis
Even writers
(wait, I did)
Just that my dreams changed in ways I’d never imagined
Every dream I saw with you, now I don’t dare to see
(yes I do)
(but only coming true with you)
The way back for you is far too lost
I drew the map so you’ll probably never find me
The twists and turns I put on paper, have somehow all come real
The earth is littered with points marked X but none of them are true
(some of them are true)
I don’t love you like I did that night
(yes, yes, of course I do)
and I’m ok with settling for less now
(no, no I don’t want to)
I’m rejoicing in your glory, the one you’ve always deserved
(this one is true)
And I finally found the dance in me
But not quite the one you wanted me to
So is this the way my loves go
Loving me but unable to stay?
Needing me but finding ways to stop?
Out-running my screams, “you abandoned me bastard!”?
(I know it was me who abandoned me)
I abandoned the rules that keep two people together
(yes somehow love comes with rules)
Abandoned the memories and let anger take over
Those awful moments when you think you’re all given up
(I never gave up)
I stopped believing in love
then I believed again
I hated you for stopping too
For not being like me
And remembering every memory
(just when it’s too late)
They tell me I play games
I always prided myself on not playing games
(and losing at the ones I played)
i never want to play again
but when your mouth moves with a life it’s own
when your heart’s weaker than your tongue
it’s fair to say, I’m certain
that you don’t deserve love
I don’t deserve you
(but I want you back anyway)
I’m a selfish fucking bitch
(but I love you love you love you)
I only know how not to be loved
(please find a way to love me)
I only look for solutions in others
No one should indulge me
(please indulge me)
I keep losing the right
I keep trying to fight
I never get it right
But I’m dreaming tonight
That you get me at last
(there isn’t much to get)
That I see at last
Your heart’s not to let
(I’ll guess I’ll always rent, never borrow, never even own)
I’m looking for rights
That aren’t mine to have
(can I be right for you?)
And I push away sorrow
When it’s staring me in the fucking face
I’d rather smash my face
(I’d rather smash my face)
I’ve lost the plot, I know
I took a moment and ran with it
I went to extremes and hoped you’d be my middle
(no one can be anyone’s middle)
Everyone runs when you push them too far
The road paves over in the opposite direction
First I ask you to swim with my tide
Then I ask you to swim against your tide
(make me your tide)
I should have said everything I thought
What bullshit emerged when the truth did not
The truth it sits quietly in parenthesis
Everyone ignores parenthesis
Even writers
Friday, November 7, 2008
27 march 2008
wander into forests
fly into trees
go see the world
be totally free
just please will you
come back to me?
- me
(unknowingly)
fly into trees
go see the world
be totally free
just please will you
come back to me?
- me
(unknowingly)
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Friday, July 4, 2008
Sunday, June 1, 2008
before you came, life was a comma. after you left, fullstop.
you're gone
not even your smell
remains
look around
broken promises
silly words
lost girl
but still a dream
intact
carefully wrapped
yours to take
and make come true
i know you
will
i love you.
not even your smell
remains
look around
broken promises
silly words
lost girl
but still a dream
intact
carefully wrapped
yours to take
and make come true
i know you
will
i love you.
stuck in my head
Falling Slowly
I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along
When Your Mind's Made Up
So
If you ever want something
You call, you call
And I'll come running to fight
And I'll be at your door
And there's nothing worth running for
When your mind is made up
When your mind is made up
There's no point trying to change it
When your mind is made up
When your mind is made up
There's no point trying to stop it
You see you're just like everyone
When you share your falls
All you want to do is run away
And hide all by yourself
When there's fall, there's fall
There's nothing else
When your mind is made up
When your mind is made up
There's no point trying to change it
When your mind is made up
When your mind is made up
There's no point even talkin'
When your mind is made up
When your mind is made up
There's no point trying to fight it
When your mind, your mind
There's no point trying to change it
When your
So
If you ever want something
Then you call, call
Then I'll come running
-- Glen Hansard
I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along
When Your Mind's Made Up
So
If you ever want something
You call, you call
And I'll come running to fight
And I'll be at your door
And there's nothing worth running for
When your mind is made up
When your mind is made up
There's no point trying to change it
When your mind is made up
When your mind is made up
There's no point trying to stop it
You see you're just like everyone
When you share your falls
All you want to do is run away
And hide all by yourself
When there's fall, there's fall
There's nothing else
When your mind is made up
When your mind is made up
There's no point trying to change it
When your mind is made up
When your mind is made up
There's no point even talkin'
When your mind is made up
When your mind is made up
There's no point trying to fight it
When your mind, your mind
There's no point trying to change it
When your
So
If you ever want something
Then you call, call
Then I'll come running
-- Glen Hansard
Thursday, May 22, 2008
i'm sorry
you never understood why
i listened to this song
over and over
i guess
there was always a tiny fear
that i knew
i knew how it was going to end
and it turns out
i did...
how it ends - devotchka
hold your grandmother's bible to your breast
gonna put it to the test
you want it to be blessed
and in your heart
you know it to be true
you know what you gotta do
they all depend on you
and you already know
yeah, you already know how this will end
there is no escape
from the slave-catchers' songs
for all of the loved ones gone
forever's not so long
and in your soul
they poked a million holes
but you never lettem show
c'mon it's time to go
and
you
already know
yeah, you already know
how this will end
now you've seen his face
and you know that there's a place
in the sun
for all that you've done
for you and your children
no longer shall you need
you always wanted to believe
just ask and you'll receive
beyond your wildest dreams
and
you
already know
yeah, you already know
how this will end
you already know (you already know)
you already know (you already know)
you already love will end
i listened to this song
over and over
i guess
there was always a tiny fear
that i knew
i knew how it was going to end
and it turns out
i did...
how it ends - devotchka
hold your grandmother's bible to your breast
gonna put it to the test
you want it to be blessed
and in your heart
you know it to be true
you know what you gotta do
they all depend on you
and you already know
yeah, you already know how this will end
there is no escape
from the slave-catchers' songs
for all of the loved ones gone
forever's not so long
and in your soul
they poked a million holes
but you never lettem show
c'mon it's time to go
and
you
already know
yeah, you already know
how this will end
now you've seen his face
and you know that there's a place
in the sun
for all that you've done
for you and your children
no longer shall you need
you always wanted to believe
just ask and you'll receive
beyond your wildest dreams
and
you
already know
yeah, you already know
how this will end
you already know (you already know)
you already know (you already know)
you already love will end
Saturday, May 17, 2008
i was so scared of getting my feet wet, i caused a flood in another part of the world
words have betrayed me today
it sounds so small, so pithy
when you say it out loud
no word i have said today
or in the past
has captured how
the smell of the air changes
how all your body weight centers in a single aching point in your stomach
how it isn't even ache but a deep seated rot
how cold your finger tips get
and how your ears burn
how sound travels slow to your ear
travels slow from your mouth
how your throat gets blocked as if with cement
and to swallow even your own saliva makes you sick to the stomach
how the shivers come and go
how it is hot when it is cold and freezing when it is hot
how to explain this?
look at me, describing the damn weather
but really
it always looks like rain now
but you don't know what that means, do you
you don't know how i hate the rains
the last monsoon i spent alone
as i will this one
o wait
that's the best way to describe it
perhaps
it should tell you enough when i say...
we didn't even get to watch the rain together.
it sounds so small, so pithy
when you say it out loud
no word i have said today
or in the past
has captured how
the smell of the air changes
how all your body weight centers in a single aching point in your stomach
how it isn't even ache but a deep seated rot
how cold your finger tips get
and how your ears burn
how sound travels slow to your ear
travels slow from your mouth
how your throat gets blocked as if with cement
and to swallow even your own saliva makes you sick to the stomach
how the shivers come and go
how it is hot when it is cold and freezing when it is hot
how to explain this?
look at me, describing the damn weather
but really
it always looks like rain now
but you don't know what that means, do you
you don't know how i hate the rains
the last monsoon i spent alone
as i will this one
o wait
that's the best way to describe it
perhaps
it should tell you enough when i say...
we didn't even get to watch the rain together.
if i wish i was a tree, what will happen to the tree?
there's a book missing
from my shelf
the perfect book
i know it is
the one i should be reading
now
i can't find it
i don't know its name
i'll wait then
for it to find me
for now i'll watch
as letters race across this screen
apparently from me
seemingly for you
who knows what's really going on
behind this mess
whether order or chaos
truth or green apples
could be any damn thing
in this universe
how many guesses would it take
to get it right
to understand
to remember
that some big things
replace little things
that some little things
make up for big things
a pair of socks you laughed at
a switch you flicked on
a TV show you ignored
a newspaper you crumpled
a plate you washed
a morsel you swallowed
a joint you pulled at
a cockroach you chased
a loud laugh
a kiss
these are all things you did
before you left
from my shelf
the perfect book
i know it is
the one i should be reading
now
i can't find it
i don't know its name
i'll wait then
for it to find me
for now i'll watch
as letters race across this screen
apparently from me
seemingly for you
who knows what's really going on
behind this mess
whether order or chaos
truth or green apples
could be any damn thing
in this universe
how many guesses would it take
to get it right
to understand
to remember
that some big things
replace little things
that some little things
make up for big things
a pair of socks you laughed at
a switch you flicked on
a TV show you ignored
a newspaper you crumpled
a plate you washed
a morsel you swallowed
a joint you pulled at
a cockroach you chased
a loud laugh
a kiss
these are all things you did
before you left
love song of a mad girl
it comes rushing up
like hot screaming boiling tea
no, something stronger
like vodka... hot, screaming, boiling
and it stays at that deafening pitch
for days and days on end
it threatens to but does not burst
it hovers just above my skin
burning, burning
how it burns
and it stays there for what seems like ever
and i cannot move, cannot talk, cannot think
of anything
but the burning
burning
then, pop
and it is gone
all at once
suddenly cold
and raging cold sweats
and suddenly cold is like heat
but worse much much worse
it plunges your body
into a profound loneliness
away alone afar
lost
drifting on a sea of ice
rocking and rolling from the weight of
your regrets
and on and on
it stays this way
my life is this way
i tried to explain it to you
see?
do you see now how it is?
i am a mad girl
not silly
mad
all consumingly maddened by
myself
and now
by
you
take it as a compliment
if you can
for it is
it is
in some mad way
that i will try to explain
like this
when it burns
i see you burn
when it is cold
i see you cold
like repels like
sadly
but we are
you and i
like
and that will
bond us
for eternity
and mad girls like me
we can survive
on these bonds
on these intangibles
that others forget
mad girls like me
never
forget
because this is our
incomprehensible
version
of true love.
like hot screaming boiling tea
no, something stronger
like vodka... hot, screaming, boiling
and it stays at that deafening pitch
for days and days on end
it threatens to but does not burst
it hovers just above my skin
burning, burning
how it burns
and it stays there for what seems like ever
and i cannot move, cannot talk, cannot think
of anything
but the burning
burning
then, pop
and it is gone
all at once
suddenly cold
and raging cold sweats
and suddenly cold is like heat
but worse much much worse
it plunges your body
into a profound loneliness
away alone afar
lost
drifting on a sea of ice
rocking and rolling from the weight of
your regrets
and on and on
it stays this way
my life is this way
i tried to explain it to you
see?
do you see now how it is?
i am a mad girl
not silly
mad
all consumingly maddened by
myself
and now
by
you
take it as a compliment
if you can
for it is
it is
in some mad way
that i will try to explain
like this
when it burns
i see you burn
when it is cold
i see you cold
like repels like
sadly
but we are
you and i
like
and that will
bond us
for eternity
and mad girls like me
we can survive
on these bonds
on these intangibles
that others forget
mad girls like me
never
forget
because this is our
incomprehensible
version
of true love.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
hey, how're you feeling?
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
pink flower
The flower said, "I wish I was a tree,"
The tree said, "I wish I could be
A different kind of tree",
The cat wished that it was a bee,
The turtle wished that it could fly
Really high into the sky,
Over rooftops and then dive
Deep into the sea.
And in the sea there is a fish,
A fish that has a secret wish,
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it.
And in the sea there is a fish,
A fish that has a secret wish,
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it.
And the flower
Would be its offering
Of love to the desert.
And the desert,
So dry and lonely,
That the creatures all
Appreciate the effort.
Et le jackalope a dit
Je voudrais être un yeti
Pour voler dans la nuit
Et m'en aller loin d'ici
Mais le yeti a dit
Je voudrais être un monstre marin
Pour pouvoir rentrer dans la mer
De tous les requins.
And the rattlesnake said,
"I wish I had hands so
I could hug you like a man."
And then the cactus said,
"Don't you understand,
My skin is covered with sharp spikes
That'll stab you like a thousand knives.
A hug would be nice,
But hug my flower with your eyes."
The flower said, "I wish I was a tree,"
The tree said, "I wish I could be
A different kind of tree",
The cat wished that it was a bee,
The turtle wished that it could fly
Really high into the sky,
Over rooftops and then dive
Deep into the sea.
And in the sea there is a fish,
A fish that has a secret wish,
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it.
And in the sea there is a fish,
A fish that has a secret wish,
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it.
And the flower
Would be its offering
Of love to the desert.
And the desert,
So dry and lonely,
That the creatures all
Appreciate the effort.
-- Treehugger, Antsy Pants
The tree said, "I wish I could be
A different kind of tree",
The cat wished that it was a bee,
The turtle wished that it could fly
Really high into the sky,
Over rooftops and then dive
Deep into the sea.
And in the sea there is a fish,
A fish that has a secret wish,
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it.
And in the sea there is a fish,
A fish that has a secret wish,
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it.
And the flower
Would be its offering
Of love to the desert.
And the desert,
So dry and lonely,
That the creatures all
Appreciate the effort.
Et le jackalope a dit
Je voudrais être un yeti
Pour voler dans la nuit
Et m'en aller loin d'ici
Mais le yeti a dit
Je voudrais être un monstre marin
Pour pouvoir rentrer dans la mer
De tous les requins.
And the rattlesnake said,
"I wish I had hands so
I could hug you like a man."
And then the cactus said,
"Don't you understand,
My skin is covered with sharp spikes
That'll stab you like a thousand knives.
A hug would be nice,
But hug my flower with your eyes."
The flower said, "I wish I was a tree,"
The tree said, "I wish I could be
A different kind of tree",
The cat wished that it was a bee,
The turtle wished that it could fly
Really high into the sky,
Over rooftops and then dive
Deep into the sea.
And in the sea there is a fish,
A fish that has a secret wish,
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it.
And in the sea there is a fish,
A fish that has a secret wish,
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it.
And the flower
Would be its offering
Of love to the desert.
And the desert,
So dry and lonely,
That the creatures all
Appreciate the effort.
-- Treehugger, Antsy Pants
Friday, March 28, 2008
i love you is easy to say
sometimes i'm the flower
sometimes i'm the tree
sometimes i'm you
sometimes i'm me
i like you when you're you
i like you when you're not
i like me when you're me
i like me a lot
i like that i say love
i like you say it too
sometimes you say go
sometimes i say boo
yesterday i said run
today i said stay
tomorrow i'll stay mum
you'll say you may
wander into forests
fly into trees
go see the world
be totally free
just please will you
come back to me?
sometimes i'm the tree
sometimes i'm you
sometimes i'm me
i like you when you're you
i like you when you're not
i like me when you're me
i like me a lot
i like that i say love
i like you say it too
sometimes you say go
sometimes i say boo
yesterday i said run
today i said stay
tomorrow i'll stay mum
you'll say you may
wander into forests
fly into trees
go see the world
be totally free
just please will you
come back to me?
Friday, February 22, 2008
x redux
i must insist
therefore
to know
that if
x is when we met
y is who we are
a + b is us togetheralone
assuming
the wind velocity is such
volume of love soandso
speed and force known
and all variables considered
are we wrong or right?
therefore
to know
that if
x is when we met
y is who we are
a + b is us togetheralone
assuming
the wind velocity is such
volume of love soandso
speed and force known
and all variables considered
are we wrong or right?
what is x?
it's not enough
that we love
ceaselessly
it's not enough
that in this love
we forgive before the mistake is made
we dance seconds after we were beaten down
we splat on the pavement and snap up cartoon style
we lose our dimensions and enjoy it
we lock away our aspects in small boxes we hide in corners
it's not enough
that we love
like children
like animals
like poets
like mad men
it's not enough
that we love
with our nose
our breath
our eyelashes
the undersides of our fingernails
the inbetweens of our toes
it's not enough
that we
just
love
what matters
apparently
is the graph our love creates
when you plot it on a chart
with x and y axes
and parameters
what matters, ultimately,
is how we love
when
of what nature this love is
its personality
its mathematical equation formed with
the one we love
whether it balances
and how
to what degree
what's the tilt, the index, the refraction
where's the decimal point
who has the log
what's the percentage
and who's analyzing the data
and how
and when
it's not enough
that i loved
because i really really
suck
at math.
that we love
ceaselessly
it's not enough
that in this love
we forgive before the mistake is made
we dance seconds after we were beaten down
we splat on the pavement and snap up cartoon style
we lose our dimensions and enjoy it
we lock away our aspects in small boxes we hide in corners
it's not enough
that we love
like children
like animals
like poets
like mad men
it's not enough
that we love
with our nose
our breath
our eyelashes
the undersides of our fingernails
the inbetweens of our toes
it's not enough
that we
just
love
what matters
apparently
is the graph our love creates
when you plot it on a chart
with x and y axes
and parameters
what matters, ultimately,
is how we love
when
of what nature this love is
its personality
its mathematical equation formed with
the one we love
whether it balances
and how
to what degree
what's the tilt, the index, the refraction
where's the decimal point
who has the log
what's the percentage
and who's analyzing the data
and how
and when
it's not enough
that i loved
because i really really
suck
at math.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
where's the enfield?
sandy sheets
then-purple-now-brown chappals
water color sarongs
spilt shampoo
thump in chest
jumpjumpjump
splishy splashy vodka
plastic glasses
fish eye
prawn curry rice plate papad spicy kings staring tails ew no
chocolate chocolate excess excess
round two
falling rockets
dreamy sleep sleepy dream
inhale exhale
tee hee
your feet sunset
my hair breeze
with you
goa was beautiful
again
then-purple-now-brown chappals
water color sarongs
spilt shampoo
thump in chest
jumpjumpjump
splishy splashy vodka
plastic glasses
fish eye
prawn curry rice plate papad spicy kings staring tails ew no
chocolate chocolate excess excess
round two
falling rockets
dreamy sleep sleepy dream
inhale exhale
tee hee
your feet sunset
my hair breeze
with you
goa was beautiful
again
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