sunday poetry: tao lin

tao lin is this strange little creature who is a self-promotion god and eats insanely healthy food and writes books and he bought a genre and spawned hundreds of copy cats and i have this theory that anyone who reads his blog for more than three minutes at a stretch will automatically start writing like tao lin and thinking all their thoughts in their heads in a steady monotone akin to his public readings with background slideshows of doodles of hamster-like creatures. this is just a random post of his from his blog heheheheheheheeheheheehehe.com and it's not even one of those that like really "captures his essence" or whatever. he writes a lot so you'll eventually find something that does.

if i keep 'acting retarded' on the internet will i die

i know i will die at some point, that isn't the question i'm asking in this blog post, i think

i think i feel already not sure what this blog post is 'about'

i think i'm interested in whether or not i will 'wither' and then die, in my chair, in the library, if i type certain sentences

will my heart shrivel, inside my body, causing me to 'die,' as i type certain words in certain combinations onto this blog

seems like i can do anything on the internet, which seems weird

i've censored myself 'so much' in my life, even on this blog, i think, not sure actually

not sure what is happening right now, as i sit here, typing onto this blog

does each sentence i type onto this blog cause 95% of prizes/grants/reviewers to 'move away from me' (i have images of them, like, rolling away awkwardly, due to their shapes; for the reviewers i have images of them putting their forefinger/thumb on their forehead/cheek and then sort of 'swiveling' their head away from me), does that seem funny to me or not

i have images of people staring at their computer screens feeling confused

tens of thousands of people in a giant stadium staring at computer screens feeling confused

'hm'

if i have any friends, can you (if you want to) bid on my myspace account to increase the price to like $80000, so that it 'becomes news,' i think this requires at least 2 friends (just experienced a moment of uncertainty re '2 friends,' seemed good)

this was suggested in the comments section of the post below this post

i have a tumblr

brandon is having a short story contest

i'm probably going to enter under several fake names

i'm excited

i'm also afraid

will brandon choose me

or will he choose someone else

will i cry if i lose

or will i just eat carbohydrates

i think galleys of 'shoplifting from american apparel' will exist somewhere within 3-4 weeks

the distributor will have a number of copies of the galleys, i believe

i feel neutral

i feel like the thing in middle school that tests whether a solution in chemistry class has been neutralized or not; i feel like the moment when the thing is seen to be neutralized, using a tab or something, with numbers on it

i feel like the moment when an 8th grader looks at the tab, feeling no interest in whatever 'lab experiment' it is for, and sees that it has been neutralized, and thinks 'neutralized' or something

not sure what i'm trying to describe, might be less an emotion than a 'tableau' or something

sort of can't believe i blogged again, 'so soon' after the previous blog post, with no real new news

should perhaps have consolidated these three 'myspace-ebay posts' into one post, to maximize comments and other reasons, yet i keep typing

is this what mike tyson felt like when he bit evander holyfield the second time

i feel highly aware that what i am doing right now isn't the ideal blogging technique to achieve my goals, 'though, what are my goals, hehe'

i keep having images of doors closing

just had an image of a window closing, seemed 'slightly abberant'